What Does The 4th Bring?

Oh here it comes another holiday...yay!....right? That's how I'm supposed to feel but no....I really just wish it was just another day and would love to be able to just do so. Spending time with my kids without all the fuss.  I really have had a plan on what we were doing for some time now for the July 4th holiday. But now as we approach it I find I really don't want to do that, I don't want to even go out at all.  This is probably normal for a family going through deployment even though it may seem crazy to my civilian friends. And now that I realize this is probably one celebration I should be super supportive of and all maybe the picture of me decked out in red, white, and blue that I have in my head just isn't realistic this year. I mean we as a family are patriotic throughout the year we don't bundle it all up in just one day or weekend, its pretty much a way of life. While my toddler LOVES fireworks though and talks about them all year long until he gets to see them which is only twice a year, what am I to do? I'm not sure but seeing as how this is only the first big holiday since departure for us I now know I'm going to have to do some heavy duty planning so that the other holidays to come are set up and ready to go for me and my family just in case I get to feeling like this again. Ive got to remain focused and just keep on swimming. :) I'm not sure what will happen but I don't have time to worry about that much just take it as it comes for right now and everything will be alright.

Day 97

I got to talk on the phone with him for over 20 minutes today!  It was great to catch up and while it's hard hearing in his voice how hard it is on him day to day, I know as the soldier he is he won't complain or say how difficult it is.  So I happily catch him up on all the new happenings that have been going on lately with the kids and more.  It's great to know I'm keeping him up to date so maybe, hopefully he doesn't feel so far away today.  All I know is I sure love our phone conversations no matter where I am or what I'm doing and I have found I instantly get so sad if I can't get to the phone and I miss a call.  But I find my peace and just wait for the next call.