Couldn't even make it through church service! geez

Goodness Goodness I must be a mess. Its Memorial Day weekend and I go to church today and BAM without any warning tears are slowly rolling out it was quite bizzare I'm just sitting listening and the preacher is sharing just a little bit on soldiers, and service, and on this wasn't even the meaning of his sermon today but it didn't matter I'm just sitting there and oh a tear rolls down, then another, at first I thought I must have yawned a couple of times without noticing then after a few minutes I'm having to wipe the tears away then finally just grabbed a kleenex that conveniently was sitting next to me...(hmmm God you sure are the master planner huh) I then am getting mad at myself because I'm crying for what seems to be no reason and not sobbing just sitting there and my eyes have a mind of their own they are just crying I knew I couldn't go through much more and had to take my exit and about the time I'm nearly to reach the restroom the emotions come pouring on through.  The story is I'm Very Happily and in Love Married to my husband of nearly 2.5 years and hes been to 2 Iraq tours before all before we were dating we began dating after he came home from his second tour.  Now Hes the love of my life and we have two boys and we are a great family.  He of course is military and I am an Army Wife...I had always hoped that since hes been twice maybe just maybe he wouldn't have to go again only to find out earlier this month that that's not the case in a few weeks he will be going back to full time military and no more civilian job all in preparation for a future mobilization....We've got maybe till this time next year but then again I know already that plans always change and while he'd like me to tell myself its not set in stone yet blah bah I know in my heart better and it might even be sooner. Ive spent the last few weeks trying to prepare myself silently for this we've started planning a very busy and family filled summer sine well next summer he won't be here.  I say I do this silently because Ive been able to tell very few because its too early to tell the kids and the last thing I need is someone coming up to talk to us about it and my son hearing theres no need yet for him to have to worry about daddy leaving. Well transition into that next year. 
Story said I make it into the bathroom and am just full out sobbing uncontrollably because all this is going through my head and no matter how much I try to focus on other things I'm a wife and a mom and these are the things that matter to my heart. I'm also mad because I don't want my husband seeing me give way to my feelings on this because I don't want to put that burden on him He needs to see me strong and know that I'm gonna be able to take care of myself and everything while hes absent. I have no doubt and I know I'm going to do just fine but yeah a girls got emotions from time to time too, right? finally we have to gather the kids and escape to a cool McDonald's so they can play and eat while momma gets to "feeling better" This is what I told my 8 year old when he was confused as to why we were leaving early was momma didn't feel good and needed to go.  So me a grown woman am kicking my butt for having to jump out of church service on account of my emotions..seriously? My husband said just wait till July when my church is planning a big memorial and dedication to the service members and I'm thinking hmmm should we skip? but no of course not Il be fine we will be fine besides Ive got God to lean on and He always is there and will get us right through this together.  (Il wear waterproof eyeliner and mascara just in case)

The Unknown Birthday Party

So Friday after school my 8 year old proudly shows me an invitation while announcing that he really really really wants to go to the birthday party and I check and its on Sunday which of course we have church but it started at 1 so I told him ok we can probably make it if we head out right after church because its a 25 minute drive but doable seeing how sure he was that he wanted to go. The invitation was for a girl in his class that i guess he likes and not in the little girlfriend boyfriend like just his friend.  I of course have never met the girl, her parents, her family or anyone but wasn't thinking about that there wasn't an RSVP and he had told her that he was going to be there so we picked out a super cute present and were headed on our way for the first time to Peter Pipers Pizza and her birthday party. 
Well how can I explain awkward....first off we didn't know what to do when walking in we have never been to a PPP as stated and we were hungry and hoping for a quick buffet and to let my son join in with the other kiddos while we sit off a bit to give him some space and eat our lunch...didn't happen quite so that way.  He was so fired up to be there until we were there and then, what is it I see? shyness from my boy say it isn't so! not my Matthew but yes and I couldn't find the parents there were so many people and kids around not to mention about 6 other party's going on at the same time....not so special if you ask me...but finally was welcomed and introduced by the little girls grandmother after another 15 minutes my boy was in and running around with the birthday girl so we informed the grandmother no mother or father figured out still it was a lot of family and no one else from his class came. I told her we were going to order us some food and scoot of to the quieter side of the store to feed the baby, which we did.  I'm not good with mass chaos and kids running rampant as Ive found out during our first year with Cub Scouts so i sat and breathed some relief only to see the restaurant side of the store also was about to be used for another party...seriously? Finally after husband, me, and baby are fed we decide to reenter the party and just in time for presents so yay didn't miss anything after cake and ice cream we broke down and let the baby play some games only $5 worth but still he got 5 suckers and a tootsie roll for that which i think is a win for a 20 month old don't you!? 
By the time we left Matthew had had a great time and won like 600 tickets and given them all to the birthday girl (see I'm raising him right) without a question we treated him and his brother to a sucker and I thought what was I thinking going to a party for someone I didn't even know? and I now come December when its birthday party time again at my house I'm going to make an extra effort to welcome and make comfortable the new friends and mainly their parents who come to my kiddos birthday party cause geesh I've been there and that was no fun and I'm all about Birthday Parties being FUN!

Lesson Learned: Be a better host at my next birthday party :)

Tadaaah!! and the beginning is here!

Well I love blogging so much I wanted to go beyond my other blog which is focused on my fitness, health, eating, weight, and all that great part of my life but is also about my 90 Day Challenge and I thought well what happens at the end of 90 days....I decided I have so much more to share, think, question, experience, that I would start my first actuall personal blog and here we are! Ive been told for years that "Im Real" yeah well arnt we all? But it seems im just a tad more blunt and realistic then others from day to day and when I hear this I thought I must have just shared a common thread with these people right? Well here I am now going to share my day to day doings and see who can find the most in common with no matter who you are and where your from how exciting is that!  I don't even know if I can type out in words what Im wanting to accomplish but if nothing else Im going to have my life documented and shared and the world around me can see just how different yet Everything In Common we can all Be!