The weather has warmed up quite nice so nice in fact that when my son asked to go ride his bike I was knew that yes we could It was warm enough for all of us to go outside. So I pulled out the play pen and put the girls in and they loved enjoying the sunshine and I took a couple pictures. The hard part was catching all four of them in the same frame, luckily two were stationary I just had to wait for the other two to run by and after a couple tries I got one! As I sat there I thought about the beauty of it all, the kids were so happy it was so bright and warm outside, it was a great day. I thought of the day before. The day that I thought I would not make it through It had started out rather well seeing as how when I walked out the door I actually felt pretty which doesn't happen much anymore I remember thinking to myself and saying out loud wow I look pretty. But that very quickly faded away into frustration, short temper, bad thoughts, ugly words, and more. I felt like I just wasn't going to make it through that day, nothing I tried made it better I knew this was a day that the depression had swung up and was trying to drown me. Despite trying my best at different times in the day to change my focus and my thinking to something better it never happened. I went to bed thinking wow if I die while I sleep I'm probably not going to go to heaven tonight. Even though I know well and right that's not true. I know God loves me despite my shortcomings and flaws and that by his Grace I am saved and I cant just fall out of his love that easily, or ever. Then the next morning came. The morning which turned into afternoon and so on and come evening I found myself sitting outside with my kids enjoying the sunshine and knowing that I had made it. I felt like God kinda scooped me up and lifted me across the ground just to get through the previous day but the next day, this day had been just fine. No negative thoughts, no depression, no struggles. A day like most my days. Every day is a gift and I love to take note sometimes on what the difference just one day makes.
I just want to say if your reading this whatever your going through today just remember its just for today and tomorrow will be anew. You can get through whatever your challenges are, maybe not alone but always with a little help from the Father.
Id also like to add the rest of my week has gone fantastic, Ive been having great sunshiny days with the kids, being productive, and full of laughter.
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