Backspacing the bad things in real life would be nice too

Well If ever Ive not been myself it would be now.  I can honestly say this whole Christmas season Ive been gone emotionally and physically and I try just not to talk to anyone because well for one the more I talk the closer I come to throwing up and because I'm so plain miserable I have nothing much positive to say.  I didn't even hang lights on the outside of our house this year I had 2 more boxes of ornaments that never even went up because I just don't have it in me and I hate having to have my husband do absolutely everything for me. He already helps me out more than anyone will know hes getting up with the boys, changing the diapers, cooking the meals, giving the baths, and every other little thing in between.  What this was, was the blog of me trying to get my feelings at the present moment out but instead I deleted a paragraph which just seemed to be griping which isn't cool in my book. I will say that I get so sick of having to constantly answer I'm fine...to the question I keep repeatedly getting asked when someone sees me if I'm ok?...No I'm not ok I don't even remember what ok is I'm simply putting on a brave face and being polite by answering I'm fine which is equivalent right now to I feel like I'm melting away....
Through it all I know in the end I'm getting something great, a blessing beyond words that will make me laugh at the misery I know so well today and I will forever be happy with what God has given us because I will know between the many dirty diapers and messes to come they will be nothing to the stress and agony Ive made it through thus far. And next christmas there will be joy again and 2 more bundles of joy to share in it with us.  I face each day knowing God has truly blessed me and we will weather this storm to see our rainbow at the end.

The Real Mask of a SuperMommy

While my nose has turned into a superpower it seems to do more harm then good. Washing dishes, laundry, mopping, and the daily super bomb of a dirty diaper are way too much for me to handle these days.  My husband has been on leave and helping out at home the last couple weeks well not helping hes pretty much been running the ship for me and the family.  But we knew the first 2 weeks of December he would be gone to a training and everything would then fall on me again nausea and fatigue or not. As I tried to think about this while laying in bed or sitting on the couch the last few days I came up with an idea which is pure genius i think! My nose it what sets off most of the time no matter what I do i can smell the dirt from outside, any smell even air freshener or my favorite scentsy makes me sick within minutes because its so strong and while my hubby has been my own lil hero these last couple of weeks I haven't had to change one stinky diaper since hes been home and that is a blessing all in itself double pregnant or not.

I had an idea and thought I wonder if any other moms have had to do this or have even thought of using these but maybe been too chicken or maybe just not desperate enough to actually go through with it. Well I tested it out yesterday before he left to make sure and I was right it works I went to the store and bought a pack of 20  surgical like face mask to cover my nose and mouth area in the hopes for me to be able to function as a mom again. Now after successfully changing my own first stinky diaper this morning without smelling one thing I'm proud to say i may look silly 2 my 2 year old as he tries to give me kisses with the mask on but I feel a little bit like my old supermom self using this mask I will be able to do laundry, clean, and should be able to keep up with all the task i need to the next couple of weeks so look out world this is the mask that turns a expecting mom of 2 who's been laid out in bed back into super mommy!

Are you laughing hysterically or are you kicking yourself for not thinking of it first! :)

Been gone sleeping or wishing I was alseep

Happy December 1st! Not only have I neglected my blog but also much of my life lately but with good reason... I now spend my days in bed sleeping in not able to get up to even take my oldest to school and within an hour of being up with my toddler I'm wishing its noon and time for OUR nap time already I'm drained to say the least.  If I'm not walking around wishing i was in bed I'm sitting around feeling completely sick and at the very tip top edge of about toss up whatever it is Ive had to eat.  Ive been wanting to blog as I feel its a need since I've fallen into the black hole of existence right now I don't even like to talk on the phone because you guessed it the more I speak the closer I get to throwing up. I also keep putting off blogging because I know its going to come across as negative which its seeming to do so already but I'm a person focuses on the positive and tries never to give the negative even a sliver of a chance in my life. That being said the constant extreme fatigue and nausea doesn't mean I'm not a happy person because I am very happy I'm just also very sick right now so much so that it mostly covers up the happiness I have inside because inside of me I'm completely excited and little frazzled because of so much excitement that my body is extra busy at work providing a life support system for 2 babies! I found out about a month ago that I'm having twins! I knew about 2 weeks before that that I was having twins its just a mothers intuition on these things :) But I will say seeing that sonogram and my 2 babies and 2 separate little heartbeats is a moment I will never forget overwhelmingly blessed is how I describe the feeling then within seconds my mind raced to all the complications and extra things I know can come along with a twin pregnancy but so far so good I'm about 10 weeks no due date set yet and getting closer to ending my first trimester in which case the nausea and some of the fatigue might lay off. I cant wait for the day! but until then I'm off to take a nap while my 2 year old is still sleeping and before my oldest gets home from school :)

50% off equals $20.00

Well today was National Thrift Shop Day and that's what me and my boys did it just so happened to be on a 50% off Day too! Who Knew? I did of course :) I'm so proud of my purchases Ive decided to share with you my haul for today! I went in looking for maybe a used booster seat and anything I can use for my baby's upcoming birthday party. I'm glad to say I didn't find a booster seat but I did find lots of other great stuff! I found fabric to use for his party its cow print with western trim perfect for a barnyard bash! Also picked up a horse on a stick! you know the kind you run around with as a kid and it had a little button on its ear and I got home and took out the screwdriver and batteries and whallaaa! It works it gallops and neighs and all! Going to be a perfect prop/Toy! We've also been looking for a little backpack for the baby to wear cause he tries to drag around the diaper bag we have now...he knows all his stuff is in it but its so heavy and way too big and I found an adorable little puppy in overalls backpack! Has a zipper to hold his diapers and wipe and maybe a snack or two! And it doubles as a stuffed animal That's fantastic! Another great item I picked up today is an abacus...don't know if that's spelt right...My oldest already spent the afternoon doing math problems on it mommas worst subject is math and his fav. subject is math oh yes this is going to come in handy :) I also of course let each of the boys get a lil book cause why not they were like .25 and both my boys love to read.  Here's a pic of the kids/party stuff!

Cute stuff right! its all usable and no even though it may be cheap I don't go and load up a bunch of crap Its all great usable stuff I already had been in need of :) this is everything added up to less than 6.00                                                              

Now the rest of the 20.00 was spent on me and no I don't feel bad about that actually I'm sure I should probably spend more money on my clothes but of course I'm smarter than that I'm losing so much weight right now and getting so healthy that would be a waste of money I'm not going to fit it for long! That being said I picked myself up a cami, a tee shirt, and 4 pairs of pants which I'm so proud of. First off the khaki pants I didn't even try on and I NEVER do that but am so proud that since getting healthier I knew this is my size and I can fit these and guess what I do! the other 3 pairs of pants I knew God just placed right there for me. First off Victoria's secret is one of my fav. places to shop but since getting pregnant haven't been back and its been nearly 3 years anyhow I went down the Pant isle sweating cause my toddler was ready for a nap and now stating to whine but I was like hey look these are nice. and then another and another! yep 3 pairs of Pants all from VS all in my next size down! They are now my happy goal pants! and as soon as I get to it Il post a pic of me in my new pants! Thank you to whoever no longer wanted these they even had he dry cleaners info on them so they're very well taken care of! I like that they are my next size down Il be able to fit into them and wear them by fall and be able to make use of them all fall and winter! and just for 2.07 a piece! Thank You Jesus for sending me a reward/incentive at the same time! Hers a pic of all the clothing pieces I grabbed:

Just slung across my couch nothing fancy and I do also recommend the New York and Co. Cami that I got I'm going to look for more of them its got a full bra made into it and is extremely comfy yet awesome coverage and support! and here's a pic of my goal pants to keep me motivated!

They're the Marisa fit so nice wide legs and Ive got a pair in a creme color and a dark black pair and also a great charcoal grey pair! That's it for today hope you enjoyed National Thrift Store Day too Il be back to school shopping on Friday :)

Flowers growing on my Office Walls!

Well so I have a whole office set up, er getting set up, er thrown together yeah that's more like it in our new house of course the room is a square and has very bland walls and due to the temperature its too hot to let in the sunshine yet but while I was just looking around yesterday I came across some pretty awesome and look totally like me decals and decided huh 1.00? why not il try and put them on my walls and if they stay then yay if not well I tried! I run a health biz and a beauty biz out of my office and as your about to see I hand painted my desk bright hot pink during my last pregnancy :) it is the only color in the room other than the hot pink trash can i got a few weeks ago But here it is tadaa! I put up some flowers on my wall they are not evenly spaced they are not in a pattern and they are not in a straight line that would not be like me I just threw them up spread them about and had fun!

They're so cute right! I love it a little color and cheer added to my wall this was just 2 packages and if they stay up then I'm headed back to go get more and continue the sporadic flowers growing all around the room then maybe by then I can afford my hot pink and black curtains I've spotted for the windows! You know I live with all males my office is going to be my only Diva space weather Visalus Diva or Avon Diva its gonna be Diva! pink, black, zebra, bling, ruffles, polka dots the works Il share more as the room progresses and maybe by then il have it put together instead of thrown together :)

you know when you see something & u just have to take a pic!

Yep this is a shirt I passed by the other day me and my hubby went out to eat and there was a shop right next door so we decided to go through I had been there once before ages ago but not since being married and hes never been Its real cute has little toy shopping carts for the kids to push around which our 1.5 year old happily filled with stuffed animals while we went along :) But this was just too funny I wanted to share it! I think there was a time when I totally thought like this and It made me laugh. Now i think is absurd I want everyone to be healthy wouldn't wish it on my enemy to be fat but still just the simple comedy of it all is great. I hope you snickered...:P

Old Fridge, New Fridge

Talking appliances today and I don't know how alike we are to other households but we are glad to have the things that we do have and if something works fine, serves its purpose, doesn't break then we keep it around for good use.  Ive had a tiny lil fridge for a few years now got it for free when I first got engaged to my husband and it works great so Ive never thought another thing of it...other than its so small. Now I'm a coupon clipper, sale looking, clearance rack scaling type of lady and I am much more cost aware than my husband and was open mouthed at the prices of the Refrigerators! I of course have never really even been fridge shopping before so what I expected to be a regular price for what we were looking for was really the price of the fridges that were small and plain like the one we have but that's not what we are shopping for this time. Ive got a hungry man and 2 boys to feed needing some real freezer and fridge space!  I will also say my hubby was like a kid in a candy store it was like "ooh imma get a huge new shiny toy" lol he kept taking me here and there to look at them,Well today  after a couple of weeks of comparing there was a red, white, blue sale going on and we made the decision and went from

Tadaa! the first took up barely 2 tiles and this one is over 3 tiles wide! yeah I added like a foot of food space! So yay for finally branching out forking over the money and getting a good appliance. I will say it better last me 10 years for sure! and when my 8 year old saw it he says "oh yeah mom you better keep this one I want it in my house when I get older!" ha ha i died laughing that that's what he thought when he saw it. but its Maytag should prove long lasting, so hey maybe he will get it someday...gives me enough reason to have him clean it from time to time right? He will just be maintaining his future first fridge lol!
Now that I see this typed out I realize I want 10 years out of it and that's exactly how long he has till hes 18! Well see! :)

Breakfast after 11 hours of walking

Do you Relay? I'm talking Relay for Life today! Well I do and am glad to say we had our local relay yesterday and I did finish up 4.5 miles this year which is 2x my amount from last year my plan is to double my amount each year and so far so good but that does mean I'm looking at at least 9 miles for next year...uh its ok Ive got a whole year to go still :) Our team this year grew so much it was great and even though I may believe our committee dropped the ball in some places it was great weather and lots of fun.  My oldest son ran over 8 miles himself hes a runner and is determined to be a famous runner someday which is fine with me Its at least a healthy goal which I'm all for! My youngest got to enjoy his laps in the luxury of his comfy stroller ah that's the life right? I cant wait till next year Ive got plans for several different ways to help out and am hoping its at a different field but we will see. I can always join another Relay anywhere around where I live maybe Il do more than one Relay next year!
Note to for future relays...after 11 hours of walking we were announced that they would be serving donuts and juice for breakfast! ugh everyone on my team near gagged and said no thank you so we packed up and called it a day lol Is it just me or is it just wrong after a full night of walking and supporting the last thing we wanted was sugared up absolutely no nutritional value donuts! Gross I already plan on serving my shakes at the next relay and am now thinking of doing other relays just so that I can offer them a Visalus Vi-Shape shake during the night and wee hours we can pump out frozen coffee shakes, during the heat we could do Pina Colada shakes, and in the morning we can do Chocolate Banana, Very Berry, shoot we can have a whole assortment and enjoy the packed nutrients, great taste, and energy boost! I love being a Visalus Distributor and know that I don't have to take part in the bad food choices but make my own and share my time with other friends who are also healthy minded.  So spread the word Relay committee members Donuts are a no go at 4 a.m. when you've been pushing your body through the night next time go for some nutrition!

Oh how I love the smell of dying fleas

Oh yes so our cats usually get some fleas around spring/summertime we give them a bath, flea collar, and the little flea drip thing on the back of the neck and end of the problem right? Well not the case this year and I'm stressing out cause they are really getting on my nerves and Ive got a coupon for some natural raid for fleas that is buy one get one free Ive been looking but haven't found the stuff yet so finally the third or fourth store I find a bottle of not the one I'm looking for but a natural can of spray that is safe for animals and kids this is what Ive been waiting for because all the other stuff is way too dangerous for me to be putting up in my home I get this can of Hot Shot Natural ant and roach killer now we don't have ants or roaches but I read the back and it will work for the pesky fleas too so I'm like cool! and its SAFE for use around children and pets yay!

 The morning I got back after spraying the house I see my neighbor out on his lawn sprinkling something so I ask hey do you have ants this summer? and he says no its the dang fleas! so now I don't feel so bad its not just us theres obviously a pesky flea thing going on right now and they've got two dogs so I feel sorry for the dogs we don't even have anymore animals anymore so maybe with both of us spraying and defending our homes on the same day they will go far far away!

And wow I must say I'm like ohh that's good! not for sure how effective it is against the fleas but I guess it is getting better what I have to review on it is the smell! it says its made of lemongrass oil and yum! It smell like lemon grass, citrus, citronella, minty goodness and if I could get that scent in a Scentsy bar I would get two and enjoy it all summerlong! So if youve got fleas or ants or roaches by the way grab you a can and enjoy them dying away :)

So I guess this is my first product review and so sorry I can't figure out how to rotate the picture yet but its a clear pic!

Couldn't even make it through church service! geez

Goodness Goodness I must be a mess. Its Memorial Day weekend and I go to church today and BAM without any warning tears are slowly rolling out it was quite bizzare I'm just sitting listening and the preacher is sharing just a little bit on soldiers, and service, and on this wasn't even the meaning of his sermon today but it didn't matter I'm just sitting there and oh a tear rolls down, then another, at first I thought I must have yawned a couple of times without noticing then after a few minutes I'm having to wipe the tears away then finally just grabbed a kleenex that conveniently was sitting next to me...(hmmm God you sure are the master planner huh) I then am getting mad at myself because I'm crying for what seems to be no reason and not sobbing just sitting there and my eyes have a mind of their own they are just crying I knew I couldn't go through much more and had to take my exit and about the time I'm nearly to reach the restroom the emotions come pouring on through.  The story is I'm Very Happily and in Love Married to my husband of nearly 2.5 years and hes been to 2 Iraq tours before all before we were dating we began dating after he came home from his second tour.  Now Hes the love of my life and we have two boys and we are a great family.  He of course is military and I am an Army Wife...I had always hoped that since hes been twice maybe just maybe he wouldn't have to go again only to find out earlier this month that that's not the case in a few weeks he will be going back to full time military and no more civilian job all in preparation for a future mobilization....We've got maybe till this time next year but then again I know already that plans always change and while he'd like me to tell myself its not set in stone yet blah bah I know in my heart better and it might even be sooner. Ive spent the last few weeks trying to prepare myself silently for this we've started planning a very busy and family filled summer sine well next summer he won't be here.  I say I do this silently because Ive been able to tell very few because its too early to tell the kids and the last thing I need is someone coming up to talk to us about it and my son hearing theres no need yet for him to have to worry about daddy leaving. Well transition into that next year. 
Story said I make it into the bathroom and am just full out sobbing uncontrollably because all this is going through my head and no matter how much I try to focus on other things I'm a wife and a mom and these are the things that matter to my heart. I'm also mad because I don't want my husband seeing me give way to my feelings on this because I don't want to put that burden on him He needs to see me strong and know that I'm gonna be able to take care of myself and everything while hes absent. I have no doubt and I know I'm going to do just fine but yeah a girls got emotions from time to time too, right? finally we have to gather the kids and escape to a cool McDonald's so they can play and eat while momma gets to "feeling better" This is what I told my 8 year old when he was confused as to why we were leaving early was momma didn't feel good and needed to go.  So me a grown woman am kicking my butt for having to jump out of church service on account of my emotions..seriously? My husband said just wait till July when my church is planning a big memorial and dedication to the service members and I'm thinking hmmm should we skip? but no of course not Il be fine we will be fine besides Ive got God to lean on and He always is there and will get us right through this together.  (Il wear waterproof eyeliner and mascara just in case)

The Unknown Birthday Party

So Friday after school my 8 year old proudly shows me an invitation while announcing that he really really really wants to go to the birthday party and I check and its on Sunday which of course we have church but it started at 1 so I told him ok we can probably make it if we head out right after church because its a 25 minute drive but doable seeing how sure he was that he wanted to go. The invitation was for a girl in his class that i guess he likes and not in the little girlfriend boyfriend like just his friend.  I of course have never met the girl, her parents, her family or anyone but wasn't thinking about that there wasn't an RSVP and he had told her that he was going to be there so we picked out a super cute present and were headed on our way for the first time to Peter Pipers Pizza and her birthday party. 
Well how can I explain awkward....first off we didn't know what to do when walking in we have never been to a PPP as stated and we were hungry and hoping for a quick buffet and to let my son join in with the other kiddos while we sit off a bit to give him some space and eat our lunch...didn't happen quite so that way.  He was so fired up to be there until we were there and then, what is it I see? shyness from my boy say it isn't so! not my Matthew but yes and I couldn't find the parents there were so many people and kids around not to mention about 6 other party's going on at the same time....not so special if you ask me...but finally was welcomed and introduced by the little girls grandmother after another 15 minutes my boy was in and running around with the birthday girl so we informed the grandmother no mother or father figured out still it was a lot of family and no one else from his class came. I told her we were going to order us some food and scoot of to the quieter side of the store to feed the baby, which we did.  I'm not good with mass chaos and kids running rampant as Ive found out during our first year with Cub Scouts so i sat and breathed some relief only to see the restaurant side of the store also was about to be used for another party...seriously? Finally after husband, me, and baby are fed we decide to reenter the party and just in time for presents so yay didn't miss anything after cake and ice cream we broke down and let the baby play some games only $5 worth but still he got 5 suckers and a tootsie roll for that which i think is a win for a 20 month old don't you!? 
By the time we left Matthew had had a great time and won like 600 tickets and given them all to the birthday girl (see I'm raising him right) without a question we treated him and his brother to a sucker and I thought what was I thinking going to a party for someone I didn't even know? and I now come December when its birthday party time again at my house I'm going to make an extra effort to welcome and make comfortable the new friends and mainly their parents who come to my kiddos birthday party cause geesh I've been there and that was no fun and I'm all about Birthday Parties being FUN!

Lesson Learned: Be a better host at my next birthday party :)

Tadaaah!! and the beginning is here!

Well I love blogging so much I wanted to go beyond my other blog which is focused on my fitness, health, eating, weight, and all that great part of my life but is also about my 90 Day Challenge and I thought well what happens at the end of 90 days....I decided I have so much more to share, think, question, experience, that I would start my first actuall personal blog and here we are! Ive been told for years that "Im Real" yeah well arnt we all? But it seems im just a tad more blunt and realistic then others from day to day and when I hear this I thought I must have just shared a common thread with these people right? Well here I am now going to share my day to day doings and see who can find the most in common with no matter who you are and where your from how exciting is that!  I don't even know if I can type out in words what Im wanting to accomplish but if nothing else Im going to have my life documented and shared and the world around me can see just how different yet Everything In Common we can all Be!