Old Comfort, New Life

So were finally to the end of the deployment. 2013 was for us a year of pause.  We put our lives on pause and sometimes it skipped without us being able to control it much. Many doctor visits, trips to the e.r., plumbing problems galore, vehicle maintenance and beyond, kids growing with out assistance everyday but for the most part we put our life on pause as much as possible the day he walked out that door and on to foreign soil for us. Now the year is ending and a new year begins, a year of life on Play once again and I cant wait! To get back to our everyday, our normal, our happy. So I found this new flag and I fell in love with the burlap and monogram. Burlap a thing of the past but somehow after being put away for years is now part of everyday life again its in with the new, the now. This flag simple in its being represents so much more its hung by a woman frantically getting her house in order inside and out to get ready for a heroes welcome. A life to live and start anew even being gone through so much in the past and holding strong thru time we as a family will be like a new shiny find in the middle of an ordinary day.  

After Christmas

We made it through Christmas it went very well. I had such a get great day and so did the kids we had family time food time game time and more. Then as excitedly as I Christmas shop I get to go after Christmas shop. This year this is the ornament I picked out to represent this year as we made it through our first Christmas as a family apart yet together the man of our household and each one of us all proudly supporting each other in freedom and faith . I can't wait for next year as he returns and our family is complete again and all the good times to come.

Not Christmas for Me

Well I pushed through. Successfully put up lights on the outside hung some inside for a little extra magic. We hung the stockings and put up the tree got all of it decorated and ready. But no matter what I keep putting a smile on my face it still doesn't seem like Christmas in our space. Without our soldier home I keep a brave face on just for the kids hoping that their Christmas will be bright and happy. But no matter what I do it's still just doesn't seem like Christmas I'm already ready to take down the Christmas tree and pack it all up. I know that wouldn't be the right thing to do for the kids so with about 5 days left till Christmas I'm forcing myself to keep it all up to look cheery and Brite but truthfully I'd be much happier with it all put away just as another day waiting on him to come home. But merry Christmas to everyone we love you all be glad for our freedom to celebrate it all.

2 New Things at the Gym

So I'm definitely not doing good as far as my overall health and fitness goals or expectations and I feel as if its been a year since ive been to the gym but since my schedule has slowed due to no sports right now and being stuck inside with the cold weather I'm finding during the last few hours of the day my kids seem restless and I feel like I'm gonna go coo coo from not getting out of the house.  So I had an idea why don't we go to the gym! So ive made apts all this week in an effort to save my sanity if not my waistline at the same time and booked the entire week.  Like I imagined it was great I even bumped into my brother when I got there so that was a pleasant surprise and sign that I so should be there.
But there are a couple lessons I learned today for future trips to the gym. First try and remember to change the babies diapers before we leave. On that note also I realized in the hectic rush that I had jumped on the elliptical with a full face of makeup...that my dear friends is not good for your skin when you sweat and are wiping your face constantly.  Also knowing theres no way I can make the time with the kids running around stir crazy for me to wash my face beforehand so how do we fix this dilemma? I have the perfect answer! It looks like this: example above and below

 

 

That's right gonna get the Mary Kay Skinvigorate Brush and a 3 in 1 cleanser just for my gym bag! That way I can run in when I go pre workout potty I can pre workout wash all my makeup off and do it quickly but more importantly for me thoroughly for me and I can even easily work my way around the eye area so I at least still have some eyeliner n mascara on so I look alive...plus my eyelids don't sweat.  I already usually post workout wash my face to get off all the sweat out of my pores so this is a no brainer!!
If you think this idea is as genius as I do and want to join me feel free to visit AWESOME MK LADY!!! and order yours or of course order from your own Mary Kay Beauty Consultant if you already have one. 

Day 281 a scrambled holiday mess

Well its been 281 days since my kiddos have said goodbye to their daddy while he left off to once again defend our freedom :) I just finished wrapping the gifts daddy sent home for us to all open on Christmas morning. Here at home the boys have been having so much fun with their friends outside playing, sliding, throwing the ice/snow for hours each day.  It may actually warm up enough to start melting it today which will be good for me because I've got a birthday party to throw come Monday!  So Ice Ice you've had your stay I think today is the day you head on your way!
 I am happy to share after the last nearly two weeks being in a deep depression and added to it my baby had the Flu (poor girl) so I was literally stuck at home taking care of her while trying to deal with myself and keep my head up despite how crappy I felt about life...I finally woke up and could feel the clearing had come.  I was so happy to wake up and feel not weighed down....unless you have personally battled with depression you won't understand...and that's ok be Happy! cause you should :) This last bout was probably the worst Ive had ever....I was in the same clothes for literally 3 days...gross and my body ached so bad it was just plain stupid. I kept thinking at least if I'm going to hurt this bad it should be because Ive worked my muscles and tooshy off at the gym....but no I had been at home sleeping 12+ hours a day,  not leaving or stepping in the public eye for over a week so I knew what It was weighing me down and dragging me along..mmmhmmmm pesky D had found its way back in. But as now I can light heartedly write about it and actually smile and look ahead to the day I am SO glad.  I broke outta my funk I'm sure somebody prayed for me that day and Thank you from the bottom of my heart cause this momma sure needed it.  The holidays have been really awful without my husband here but were nearly through the celebrating (Thank God) its beyond my strength to pretend to be happy when I'm not. Everyone around me can tell when I'm not myself and how could I be? Its not hard to imagine the difficulty we as a family are facing right now.  But thank goodness for technology and the USPS we've sent gifts, received gifts, and should be able to somewhat share Christmas Day together and I cant wait!  Even if it is through the camera lens that's alright with me just turn on the Wi-Fi and Smile!

When The Needs Pile is Bigger than the Laundry Pile

You know I am a very busy woman with many hats.  I love my life in every way. I am a strong woman. Lately Ive Ive reached my limit a couple times where I think to myself...I'm just so tired of being SO strong.  Does anyone else ever feel this way? Any single moms out there? Maybe your not single but you have a load on your life the size of titanic most days and feel like that iceberg is just gonna jab out at any moment....I actually didn't have days like these before. Its a new era for me since I think I also used to play it safe by not taking on or being involved in as much as I do now.  At the beginning of the deployment I thought I was taking on so much to maybe make sure I was keeping busy? But I saw it as taking a challenge, I had for the longest time wanted to do certain things but because of whatever reasons or limitation I had been facing I had said no, and finally I decided to say yes and do the things that I wanted to do...to at least give them a try. I wanted to make sure that my husband being gone wasn't used as an excuse or a crutch with me or my kids this year. It has been a busy, crazy, hard, fun, challenging, growing, year.  It is now drawing near the end of the year and lately Ive just hit rock bottom a couple times...I think its just everything catching up on those days where maybe I haven't slept, or the kids are all in a mood too...I hate to admit it but sometimes I feel defeated. On these days though I always tell myself its just today...just one bad day is allowed because tomorrow will be better. And it is, usually the next day is migraine free, I smile a few times, or even get a phone call from my hunny....those are good days.
Like I said I have learned a lot this year...one being is I can pretty much factor when a bad day is coming on due to schedule, stress, sleep, and my physical well being/pain within the first hour or so of the day. And Ive kinda taken inventory of what is going on in my life around me...Ive learned that while I may be strong and able to carry the world, I am unable to carry the laundry basket. Literally that is where I always no matter how hard I try, I fall behind. The Laundry, the sweeping, the dishes, and overall cleaning...I find it is something I'm not rightfully good at and need help with more than anything just housework. I would much rather be down on the floor playing with the kids than wiping counter tops or mating socks. At first I thought I was being lazy so I shifted my thought process on it and made cleaning a kinda priority I just pretended like what would I do if I actually liked cleaning...well turns out that its not that I don't like it I'm just not so good at it. It is definitely not my stronghold.  Ive got family members and friends who can clean the house right around me in under an hour what I try to do in a few days time...yep no joke.
Ive gotten around to cooking again a few times a week and the boys seem to really like most of my 'creations' pretty well. I remember when the cooking was a big deal at the beginning of the deployment but I realized even if I don't cook a full meal everyday I still feed em so I shouldn't stress about it. and even more stressful was the yard being mowed...well I hired someone to do that! Ive grown, changed, learned a lot this year so far. 
The things I face right now are things beyond or out of my control mainly due to monetary reasons.  Yes we are so blessed to have the money to pay our bills and I love being able to pay for my bills without worry it is truly a blessing every month for me. But we still don't have a family car that fits all of us.....still but I cant seem to save up money especially since I keep having to sink it into my husbands car every month the last 4 months counting now...ugh Maybe Santa will drop us off a nice big SUV in a pink bow! Then theres the furniture issue..which also brings back that ol money issue because beds for the boys and a sectional that we so Need so badly as ours has springs poking out through the seats and broke in 3 spots realistically that's what I'm working with but yeah I'm not dropping money out on that unless I can find a good deal because these kiddos need Christmas and I doubt they care much what their sitting on since were usually down on the floor.  Then today after I got done babysitting I bundled all the kiddos up and headed out to do our recycling and make a drop off at the local goodwill because my kids never stop growing I'm constantly cycling through the clothes these days. I had no idea its actually a continuous cycle when you have 4 kids of buying and re buying clothes to literally keep them covered through the changing seasons.  I was pulling out of goodwill and going a different way home and saw this house...I was like wow that's quaint and I just wondered maybe its 4 bedroom It didn't look big enough for but maybe 3 but I saw it had a brochure on the front so I decided to just have one of the boys jump out and grab it so I could look. And I was so surprised when yes it said it was a 4 bedroom!
See the thing is when I moved into our temporary housing this year it was just for me to make it through the deployment and be near family but it is not the kind of place my hubby wants to call home. He works hard and puts his life on the line no question everyday and I think he deserves what he wants in terms of a home for his family at the least.  I saw this house and thought well that's a home...and I kept driving after reading there was no price on it so I made a note to check it out when I got home. I have checked it out and it looks perfect.Its even in our price range!! I think to myself how great would it be if I could get this house for us to move into as our real home for when he gets back! and then I remembered my Needs...and I felt a little defeated again...I remembered the growing laundry pile at home, the broken couch, the fact that we have to have a vehicle first before he comes home more than anything or we cant even travel together...and I haven't even been able to buy a car on my own with him gone how on earth would I be able to get a house!! and fill it with new furniture for the living room and boys bedrooms....? Answer: I cant. No I'm not Defeated. Yes all things are possible with Christ. Ive decided I learned just as I did about the fact that Im just not good at doing the laundry while watching 4 kids Its OK the laundry does get done miraculously somehow IL get a visit and my house will get cleaned! and While the Needs pile just keeps growing needing a couch, twin beds, food, clothing, a vehicle, a house....I cant but God Can. That's all I can say that I know no matter what is going on each day, weather Ive gotten a phone call this week, or weather the kids have got to video chat with daddy today or not, I Cant but God Can. Every single day, from now until forever...God Can.

Always Love New Beginnings

Well nearly a year ago we moved...to where we live now.  It is a blessing where we are located so close to my support for deployment but as days go by and holidays come I find my self looking at houses here and there as I go along.  This is not normal of me as I have long ago learned to be grateful and content for and with the blessings you already have.  While our house does have rooms enough for only the youngest kiddos to share its a real blessing for the older ones to have their own rooms.  2 bathrooms? Yes that is definitely a big plus also!  a big backyard and a great neighborhood yes all of these things I must admit are fantastic!  But we moved here as a temporary situation. To get through a deployment and that's what Ive done.  Now deployment ending is drawing near and Ive noticed my eye catches on a house ad that I was not looking at in any way...or as I'm driving I see for sale signs and think to myself what a beautiful house that is.
I wonder if God is preparing my heart. Preparing me for whats to come? Maybe this move was more temporary that we planned maybe upon my soldiers return He has big plans for this family of ours as we've grown the past year. Maybe somewhere else to plant us for us to grow more and spread His Love to others.  Not just a house for the time but a Home for the being.
 I know I usually don't like the unknown of whats to come but that's not so anymore. I really am in love with the thought of a new beginning. I think it may be because I know I have such a solid foundation no matter where we go now. Until then Il keep praying and either plant my feet where I am or be ready for his winds to take us where he will have us go. Either way I pray to be ready for his call to duty :)

Day 217

I cant believe its been over 200 days since my kids have seen their father....When I think about it, it makes me sad. But just at first because when I see the number 217 it makes me think Wow it cant be that much longer can it! That makes me more excited and glad were nearly there.
 Soon We will be putting this long absence far behind us and we will be neck deep in the regular chaos and enjoyment of our family together as we go about each day. 
 Its almost scary because it seems like Ive done NOTHING while hes been gone. I have a sense other army wives Im sure are no stranger to, where I feel like I have this sudden need to rush and finish up some large imaginary to do list. The one I made up in my mind full with all the things I would and could get to do while he was away.  But Ive really just laced up my boots and been running ever since. In and Out everyday completely filled with feeding babies, chores with kids, cleaning house, grocery shopping, family time, school events, sports games and practices, etc. It really has not gone by slow at all and I give God the Glory for that!
 Probably only 1 to 2 times and they've been very recently like since weve hit the 200 day mark...have I had a moment in between manic momma and bedtime beauty have I actually had enough time where I was actually alone long enough and with so little to do that I actually had time to feel that ucky feeling of being lonely creep up on me.  Im not nor have I ever been a woman who is the lonely type. It even kinda caught me off guard the other night I was like whoa wheres this coming from? But I know its just from the ever present always everyday underlying me missing him. First I thought Oh I need to get up and get on another task and maybe get some more work done...but I stopped and realized no. No, its ok, its alright and probably even healthy to let myself even if for just a little bit sit in that feeling of how much I really do Miss him. How much I cant wait for him to be home again. I don't usually have time to even take it in but I did give myself that time that night. And you know what, it was fine I didn't cry, I wasn't angry I just reflected on him, and me and just being US.
 We got a gift in the other day from him and it was a great family time for us. Now the kids get to see their dad and while its not in person It was just so emotional for them to see him through the tv screen that night, My oldest cried and cried and the next in line was talking to him like he could hear it was just so cute! I was also amazed to see that even the babies recognized him and his voice as he read them a great story before bedtime :) I am very glad for that connection as a daily reading time with daddy now even while hes away.  For now were all still growing physically, mentally and spiritually and will continue to do so as we face the next 100 days to come! HooRah! Never been so proud to be a Army Wife. 

My Calendar Makes Me Miss Him More

Well its that time again my favorite time of the year!!! Fall and then Winter even better described as Holiday season!  My Calendar is getting full again already running out of time slots for everything in the day even calling and cancelling as everything kicks in to gear again with back to school.  I find today was hard because all I could think was how nice itd be if he were home just so that id have an extra set of hands, I wouldnt ask him much just pick up one kid while I drop off another or sit with one kid while I pick up the others. It reminded me of the great teamwork me and my husband have, we have always had this effortless way about us as a couple how we tag in and tag out and we just generally take care of anything the other one needs to get the job done and finish the job. I miss that. Now its just me wearing lots of hats like mom of 4, pta boardmember, frg volunteer, college student, buisness owner, football mom, soccer mom, and I feel like im forgetting another one of my fav. Hats but itl come to me later while all I do is nag people to help me out in between practices meetings and trainings therefore interrupting their busy lives...sure could use my team mate in this awesome game of life we have going on. :) Least I can say is its not gonna be easy this happy season but I sure hope I can get some of my usual enjoyment out of it while having to take care of everything on my own. Meanwhile hes there wishing with all his heart he could b here with us for the games and the plays and the awards. But hes got important work to do and im so proud of him.  So im gonna mark another day off the calendar and get ready to tackle the next and make it a success.

DAY 147

I knew this year was going to be amazing! I knew there would be challenges but that our family is strong and there would be even more successes. 
Today I witnessed my oldest completely decked out in football gear for his first time and he was so happy!  My girls are such a joy everydayand both walking now and my lil man is starting school for the first time! I've been blessed with several opportunities including being able to get the schooling ive wanted for some time.  It's amazing how when the world would be sulking, in Christ we overcome and excel in life. 

What Does The 4th Bring?

Oh here it comes another holiday...yay!....right? That's how I'm supposed to feel but no....I really just wish it was just another day and would love to be able to just do so. Spending time with my kids without all the fuss.  I really have had a plan on what we were doing for some time now for the July 4th holiday. But now as we approach it I find I really don't want to do that, I don't want to even go out at all.  This is probably normal for a family going through deployment even though it may seem crazy to my civilian friends. And now that I realize this is probably one celebration I should be super supportive of and all maybe the picture of me decked out in red, white, and blue that I have in my head just isn't realistic this year. I mean we as a family are patriotic throughout the year we don't bundle it all up in just one day or weekend, its pretty much a way of life. While my toddler LOVES fireworks though and talks about them all year long until he gets to see them which is only twice a year, what am I to do? I'm not sure but seeing as how this is only the first big holiday since departure for us I now know I'm going to have to do some heavy duty planning so that the other holidays to come are set up and ready to go for me and my family just in case I get to feeling like this again. Ive got to remain focused and just keep on swimming. :) I'm not sure what will happen but I don't have time to worry about that much just take it as it comes for right now and everything will be alright.

Day 97

I got to talk on the phone with him for over 20 minutes today!  It was great to catch up and while it's hard hearing in his voice how hard it is on him day to day, I know as the soldier he is he won't complain or say how difficult it is.  So I happily catch him up on all the new happenings that have been going on lately with the kids and more.  It's great to know I'm keeping him up to date so maybe, hopefully he doesn't feel so far away today.  All I know is I sure love our phone conversations no matter where I am or what I'm doing and I have found I instantly get so sad if I can't get to the phone and I miss a call.  But I find my peace and just wait for the next call.

Back to Being Just Momma

So through a series of events I came to a crossroads I could hope for some kind of discount in order to keep my kids in daycare or I could give it up and just keep them myself. 
I realized that my youngest boy will start school come fall and the girls are just days away from beginning to walk and I decided to just give it all up and at least for this summer no work just all play.  Now I know not everyday is going to be easy but it is going to be fun. 
I'm trusting in God to make the finances work even without my little bit that I had been working for to save for a family vehicle.  I'm sure it will be more than worth it to teach my kids during the next few months and get to see the first steps and hear the first sentences from my twins. Help J on his numbers and letters and help my oldest expand his growing interest! 
Well I've had the kiddos nearly a week by myself now and I love it!  Absolutely forgot what a natural skill I have at being a full time mom. 
This picture is from my first big grocery shopping trip just me and my 3 under 3 :) Thank goodness for the buggies with multiple kid seats or I woulda had to wait for help.  The trip to the store was great, one baby slept the whole time and my youngest was just wide eyed and smiling at all the new surroundings and people she saw.   But about the time I rolled up to checkout she quietly decided to take a lil nap.  I felt so bad but was glad I was on my way out the door already.  The rest of the day had a full schedule from school events to a baseball game and yes I even pulled off dinner.  Smooth sailing so far along with reading my Bible and paying for God's help everyday he must be listening and I'm glad cause my kids deserve their mom and I'm glad that it's me that gets that job! 

Stupid Grass

Stupid grass, quit yelling at me.  Why do you persist? I am strong but you grow longer. Everyday a constant reminder of another day without him. You keep screaming at me, hes gone, its been so long and theres nothing you can do about it. I have to tread through you reminding me how far away he is everyday. I cut you down but you keep coming back and I just cant keep up like he can. You scream again as I pull in kids and groceries in tow another sign hes not by my side today,  hes still away fighting through the day.  Your just so simple why is it so hard to see you everyday?  Grass how is it youve made me cry? Not the empty bed, the kids, the pile of dirty laundry or dishes, not the bills, errands, or dog that needs to be fed have caused me to shed a tear. But you, you mean green grass keep yelling at me everyday.  Im sick of it you stupid grass. Good bye

A Sick Day and Chairs

Well I woke up in a panic this morning because I rolled over to find my 3 year old in my bed and he felt hot as fire to the touch so I frantically sought out the thermometer to find a temp of 101.7!  My baby was sick so in went the medicine and on with a cold wet wash cloth. After I got the rest of the kids on with their day his fever had broken and I was relieved and he just slept.  I was supposed to be working today and I can honestly say I have never been so glad to have to stay home.  I myself needed a day off so I saw the opportunity to baby my son all day and take care of him a welcome relief.  Now thinking about it I must be running myself near ragged to feel that way, but its true.   I took a break even still with a list of things to do I just crawled back in bed and cuddled with him we slept till noon and when he got up no fever and told me it was time to get up! So we did and then I felt bad for getting him out to run a few errands but to the pharmacy and grocery store we had to go.   I then turned on some of his favorite requested cartoons and was able to get a few things done.  I made some signs for the upcoming garage sale this weekend and then I put together the girls new high chairs! So yes I enjoyed the alone time just me and my pumpkin and I was productive!  Now on to see what tomorrow brings.

Day 56 of deployment

Well over 55 days have passed and at first It didn't seem so hard but as of a week and a half or two weeks ago things started get a little rough I was feeling hard on myself and sometimes barely getting by mixed in with days of fun and laughter I've been going to T ball games, school events, going to the gym, tanning, diaper changes, grocery runs and everyday life just keeps on coming. Today is day 56 and it's been pretty eventful after a nice relaxing birthday and the only thing that would have made it better is if he was here it would have been perfect but today I woke up with the kids and we have watch cartoons and been cleaning and I did two big things that my husband would normally do. First I fixed the TV which for some reason had only been putting out sound with no picture and I was pretty proud of myself for that then one by one I went through the toys and all the playthings of the girls and started getting a screwdriver out and replacing batteries so now all our toys are back up and running I even attempted the crib mobile projector thing I even put the toilet seat lid back on my toilet which for some reason when I went to my restroom it was on the floor I'll never figure out how that happened. and we have all as a family went through the rest of the boxes that were sitting in the corner since we moved in a few months ago and two of them now three are empty and we're getting ready for a garage sale to get stuff out and get things in and just right so I'm getting along pretty well. The kids are growing faster than ever it seems and while the laundry pile just keeps growing just like they do we all are having a good time celebrating with sloppy joes, birthday cake, barbecue chicken, and all the good stuff of life. Another day gone now on to the next.  :)

My First Booking

I have spent every bit of the last couple hours researching site after site of hotels for my mother's day vacation.  It's my last few days this year to get to spend with just my husband.  I read all different list of amenities and attractions. Pouring through list of rates only to get more confused by the second.  I had to completely focus so that I chose just the right place.  I finally just picked up the phone and called to figure it out and try and get what I want.  After freaking out over how much it cost we finally figured it out and not to much damage done. And then after all this stressing over getting just the right thing for as good a price I can find. The following second after I've made my reservation and sent a message to my husband to let him know it's taken care of. I think to myself it really doesn't matter if we don't like it as long as we're together is all that matters. ..... well why wasn't I thinking like that beforehand?  But either way I'm excited! Vacation coming up and I booked our first vacation room.

Aint it funny? Having Daughters

Well let me start with I was a girl raised with boys who ended up being a mom of 2 boys and I really pictured me with 4 sons. I of course wanted a little girl so bad but after having 2 boys I just didnt think it would happen since I am used to more boy play and sports I was good with this. I figured it would just be harder for me to have a girl cause boys were easy its just play, eat and play some more.  When I found out I was having not 1 but 2 girls I was  over the moon spinning in visions of tutus and bows, sparkles and all. I envisioned always having them in a tutu everyday  and oh the bows! Being money smart and knowing I was getting twice the joy I made my first tutu while pregnant and also learned how to make bows. I really thought id be putting bows in their heads everyday as I see alot of other of my moms and friends and relatives do. I have bows and the bigger the better right?  I've recieved compliments on them when the girls  do wear them. Now my girls are 9 months and during several special occasions and photo shoots I leave the bows at home. Ive realized that as a mom of my daughters I just marvel at how beautiful they are a lot of the time.  I think they are so perfect they just dont need a thing. Sometimes I even take off their dresses just to get pictures of just them while they play focusing on their smiles and beautiful lil faces God  has blessed them with.  I think alot about why I do this but it just comes down to the fact that they are beautifully perfect just how they are I dont want the focus to be on the big bow or pretty dress theyve got on I want them to just shine. And when I thought of this I think of how important it is to teach them this that they are beautiful and need nothing. How many little girls think they need a bow to be cute or as they get older they only feel pretty in a pretty dress and think they need all those ribbons and curls and it just goes on to makeup and on and on? Now im not saying I wont dress them up from time to time but I know its much more important that they know just how beautiful they are and they dont need a stitch to improve on or change for any reason. So make sure your telling ur lil princess how u love her everyday and all the time not just when all decked out. I just think its funny how I expected to be a certain way with my girls but im really a totally different way now that I'm actually in the role.  Society really pushes that as a female you need all this extra unnecessary stuff to get through each day. But we dont. Were all beautiful and perfect just the way we are and we should embrace it. Ad a mom make sure you are practicing this yourself so that your setting the right example. Aint it funny by having girls im learning to be a better woman myself?  Thats right. I want to set a good strong example. :)

Easter

We had a great Easter.   I love this picture of when we let the older kids finally go to hunt to those eggs.  They are practically flying across the yard.  I feel especially glad  that I got to video chat my husband in to see the twins first easter egg experience they were putting them in their mouths and crawling around it was just a really special moment. The kids had a great day at church and seeing the family followed by a game of baseball with all the cousins and a night of The Bible on tv and prayers. I really love slowing things down and having a good time. It reminds me how truly blessed I am even in between diapers, teething,  messes, yelling, and all... the good is very Good.  It may be the warm weather and getting to all go outside together but I want more days like these.

Ready For The Sun?

Today's going to be a coupon blog. I'm super excited because I found a ton of deals today and even scored some free items! I went to Kroger hoping to find a deal on my soy milk but I didn't so I headed to the yogurt and picked up the gogurt my sons been asking me to get for days.  It was marked down and I had a coupon so I got a deal and I'm gonna have a happy 3 year old. Score for this mom!  I also stopped by their clearance corner in the store and spotted some buys first was the cough syrup which I of course will use.  If you have kids and buy over the counter medicine of any sort you know they are usually no less than $5.00 and I found this one on markdown and I also combined that with a coupon I had.

I also spotted this tube of toothpaste still good till next year and even though I'm not happy I didn't have a coupon on me for it making my deal even better I went ahead and got it because I know we will use the toothpaste for sure with the mess the boys make when they brush their teeth. 

Now the real fun begins the reason I stopped was I saw a whole basket full of sunscreen. I thought wow sunscreen I'm in Texas and its March Il need sunscreen for the rest of the year nearly! With 4 kids to keep covered up and safe from the sun this means we will get to have some fun outside and I saved soooo much money!

I filled my basket up and then started checking expiration date then I put a few back and am glad to say the rest of these either expire in September this year or not even till over a year from now so they are all still very good and are all some really good brands. The picture below the ones on the left I had a $5.00 off any 2 Neutrogena and that means I got those for free and still got another .18 cents off! I also had 2 $1.00 off any Neutrogena making each of these just 1.56! and yes that's right I just paid 1.56 for a 100 + SPF! I plan on sending that one in a care package to my husband. 

I also grabbed all these for the kids and I only wish I would have some Coppertone coupons! but even though I didn't they were all marked down to 2.50 or less.  Ive got one for school/daycare one for home for each of them :)

So using the coupons on top of these awesome markdowns I only spent $6.65 on all these sunscreens below! I had coupons for all but just the one on the end and well that's like just paying for that one full price and getting all the rest free! but either way I did get the two free and all the rest were such good buys. I sure do feel blessed! And If your in the area theres still some left so grab your coupons and go get them. Were ready for the sun are you? :)

Oh The Difference a Day Makes

 

 

 

The weather has warmed up quite nice so nice in fact that when my son asked to go ride his bike I was knew that yes we could It was warm enough for all of us to go outside.  So I pulled out the play pen and put the girls in and they loved enjoying the sunshine and I took a couple pictures. The hard part was catching all four of them in the same frame, luckily two were stationary I just had to wait for the other two to run by and after a couple tries I got one!  As I sat there I thought about the beauty of it all, the kids were so happy it was so bright and warm outside, it was a great day.  I thought of the day before.  The day that I thought I would not make it through It had started out rather well seeing as how when I walked out the door I actually felt pretty which doesn't happen much anymore I remember thinking to myself and saying out loud wow I look pretty. But that very quickly faded away into frustration, short temper, bad thoughts, ugly words, and more.  I felt like I just wasn't going to make it through that day, nothing I tried made it better I knew this was a day that the depression had swung up and was trying to drown me.  Despite trying my best at different times in the day to change my focus and my thinking to something better it never happened.  I went to bed thinking wow if I die while I sleep I'm probably not going to go to heaven tonight.  Even though I know well and right that's not true.  I know God loves me despite my shortcomings and flaws and that by his Grace I am saved and I cant just fall out of his love that easily, or ever.  Then the next morning came. The morning which turned into afternoon and so on and come evening I found myself sitting outside with my kids enjoying the sunshine and knowing that I had made it. I felt like God kinda scooped me up and lifted me across the ground just to get through the previous day but the next day, this day had been just fine. No negative thoughts, no depression, no struggles. A day like most my days. Every day is a gift and I love to take note sometimes on what the difference just one day makes.

 

 

I just want to say if your reading this whatever your going through today just remember its just for today and tomorrow will be anew. You can get through whatever your challenges are, maybe not alone but always with a little help from the Father.

 

Id also like to add the rest of my week has gone fantastic, Ive been having great sunshiny days with the kids, being productive, and full of laughter.  

Imperfectly Perfect

 

 

 

Today we went and took pictures because its a big day my girls turned 9 Months old today! They are sitting up, Grace says momma, Faith likes to stand up while Grace army crawls everywhere :)

While taking pictures in itself is not easy with two 9 months old and a 3 year old who just didn't want to sit down where he was told because of course that's no fun, I even rallied in a helping hand but there were still stressful moments where the shot we were going for just wasn't gonna happen.  Nap time was coming up and I was starting to sweat by the time we called it quits but during all the chaos we got this pic and I just marvel at the imperfect perfectness of it.  This is us. This is the Robertson's. This is me with my kids.  I know no other way to put it. I absolutely love this pic. I was looking down at trying to get Jeremiah to scoot over so he wasn't blocking his sister and also kinda kneel so he wasn't all up in my face but he thought it was just hilarious that we were moving him all around. Even though my stress was growing I was still smiling!

I like the pop art but wanted to include a regular pic also because well its just perfect.

 

 

March 2013

Imperfectly Perfect

Day 4 of Deployment

Today I went and washed and cleaned out my husbands car. He's gonna love it. This is actually his car his work car so I cant even explain the amount of grit and grime there was in there and not to mention all the dirt on the outside that was there but now it looks all shiny and new.  I scrubbed the inside with the vehicle cleaning wipes but that didn't clean to my specifications so next il try to actually use a spray and some paper towels or even better I might bring out my old dandy magic scrubber that usually works on everything! I'm sure it will work like magic as usual and then if that doesn't work il have to call in the professionals before he gets home because I want it looking sparkly and new for him.  I really put some time into this car today I was probably vacuuming and scrubbing for 1 to 2 hours but I loved it the whole time I was just thinking about him and that this is one of his possessions he depends on and I'm doing the best job I can at taking care of it for him.

Her Hair Is That Long Already!

So today I went to pick my kiddos up and was surprised when I got to see my youngest sporting a new do! She had decided not to take a nap so got to have some alone play time and had her hair done. I think it's just darling and after the shock of sheer cuteness staring at me I thought wow I didn't even know her hair was long enough to do that yet! These girls are growing so fast I can barely keep up but now I'm ready to break out the brush and start playing! More pics to come in the future I'm sure!

 

 

 

 

Grace

8 Months

Day 1 of Deployment

Well I started off the day with my toilet deciding it was gonna say ha ha your hubby's not home so I will now do the magic trick of flooding your bathroom for no reason.....yay! Luckily for me since our washer and dryer hasn't been delivered yet I had plenty of towels at the ready.  So that and a quick response from my mom crisis diverted.  Then I didn't realize it was so windy and went to go open the back door to feed the dog and the wind threw open the door so hard it ripped the lil metal thing clear out of the door jam! well while that is all splintered and looks like crap not really such a big deal nothing I cant fix with the drill.  While maybe the day seemed to start off a bit unfriendly I've spent the rest of the days in my pajamas with my kids watching cartoons and playing. Which is a great way to spend the day! I love that I had all of them in the living room on the floor and they were all just playing away and enjoying themselves and each other.  I am also grateful to be back up and on a computer Ive done most of my blogs and everything else on my phone since last year but now with a new computer at the ready for Skype and emailing this year it sure is going to make my writing very quick and easy to do also.  So once again yay for today its been a good one and I cant wait for a brand new week to start tomorrow already started my to do list and updating my calendar for the rest of the month. Gotta stay on top of things so I can keep them in order as best I can.  And Yes I already miss him but that's alright.

Walking In A Daze

Well it's been a whirlwind of a week getting back home from the yellow ribbon ceremony was just the beginning. I've been so busy no laundry has been done but we have got to make it to Jeremiah's first tball practice and take both boys out to the movies we've been trying hard as we can to squeeze in any last minute memories inbetween running from store to store getting the necessities he needs to take with him. I thought I got it all yesterday only to be greeted with a new list today. I realized while usually shopping cheers me up and energizes me this has not been the case while i walked through walmart i felt so detached like i was walking in his footsteps for a minute, almost like for a minute i was seeing through the eyes of a soldier and not the civilian I am. I was walking past register after register of civilians, just ordinary everyday people in line after line just doing part of their routine waiting somberly with baskets piled high. I thought how nice it is that they can do that and how lucky they are to not be me. I had been on a mission get in and get out grab what items my man needed eagerly wanting to help him get squared away while still knowing what the outcome is, knowing this meant he was leaving us because this deployment time had finally reached us no matter how slow we tried to keep things. I thought all this as i kept just looking at everyone as i passed them taking note of their expressions and demeanor till i finally reached the door and the strong cold wind was a breath of fresh air brisk enough to make me snap to but not enough to make me want to retreat. Then i was off to the next task once again driving fast down the road just another civilian taking care of her family. Oh how fun it is to now be filling the army wife role on top of my others but il take it in stride and lean a little more on my God and a little less on myself.

Piano Time

I love this piano toy the girls have I just love to watch them play together on it. Makes me proud to see them sitting up on their own and fills me with dreams of them piano playing and singing when they get older. I'm so blessed everyday.

Milk and Yogurt

I love the fact that I'm able to keep my eyes open and notice deals while shopping for my groceries and while unsuccessfully trying to hunt
down strawberries for valentines I ran into a Kroger and spotted a steal on some milk I got 2 gallons of milk for just 1.75! It was even top of the line organic milk regularly over $6 a gallon! Then i quickly made my way over to the yogurt and saw some marked down Greek yogurt for just 1.79 which wasn't bad but also next to them were coupons for 1.00 off so I got the pkgs. for just .79 each! Oh how I love saving money! Don't you?

The Move

Well it's official, we've moved! As you can see from the picture though we've had to resort to boxes for all our playing and sleeping needs due to a sea of cardboard from the minute you open the front door. :) Well while this feels entirely true, it's not. We do have the cribs up yet there is no longer a clear walking pattern once you enter the premises. I made a huge dent in all if it and then this weekend came along with the last load from the old house and now it looks like the city dump spilled a truck into my living room. I don't even know where I want most of it to go yet or how I want things set up but we've got company coming so time to start putting things away and I can always move things later on if I change my mind right? What matters is we're going to be happy here in this house while my husband is away, we're going to be safe, warm, and have fun. God will watch over all if us while he continues to bless us and yes he will save me even while I'm lost in this sea of cardboard.

4 Years

Today I just want to say happy anniversary to my hubby. He makes me proud. He works hard and really tries to keep our family as strong a unit as possible. In the last 4 years we've been through enough trials for a lifetime and yet we've made it through still in love with each other. We've also had a number of blessings and miracles where God just reached his hand down to carry us through. This year we've got one more new trial to make it through a whole year apart while he is oversees fighting for the freedom our family's enjoy everyday. It's quite bizarre how when we found out last year about the deployment I knew yes it's ok, yes if any family can do this it's us, yes Gods got us. When I thought I would feel it such a negative thing and filled with heartache I did not instead I felt calm and peace which makes me so glad because I know that true peace comes only through God and that He isn't going anywhere this year. :) He will be with us strengthening our hearts and commitment to him everyday. So yes I'm proud of my husband and I'm so glad he's the man God has for me everyday and I can't wait for him to be home so we can celebrate our big 5 year anniversary next year.


I made this little yummy gift of some of my hubby's favorite chocolates because I know it's the one thing I won't be able to send cause it will melt so I'm loading him up on his favorites now :)

A Day of Funny Sleepers

Well today was a day for the books! If you know my kids at all you must read or maybe if you just need to laugh because I had one very funny and scary kinda morning. First il start with my oldest who when I walked into his room his light was on and his door was open but he was no where to be found. I call for him in a worried way while I think where is he? To be answered by my mom that he's in her bed which I thought was weird because she didn't even sleep in there that night but at the same time I'm relieved because I've found him. I didn't get a picture of him but the rest of the kids I did get pictures of.Now lets skip to my youngest because I want to build up to the funniest one at the end. I had thought she was such a sweetie that day because she woke up her regular happy self and after feeding I put her in her bouncer to play while I put my makeup on and then let me tell you what I felt so bad even though she never even fussed she just played until I saw her like this.

  Oh my I still feel bad even though she was perfectly fine and actually fell asleep quite happy. Also first thing this morning her sister was the first one awake we had a rough night because she's got a cold and didn't sleep well she ended up in bed with me. She wakes up all happy and I sleepily walk on over to the changing table and what do I see! I see some baby's hand waving at me! I laughed so hard and then grabbed my camera to take a pic for daddy to see. She didn't move an inch after she fell asleep last night I'm sure she was tired of coughing and mommas bed was just so comfy she never even moved her hand.

Can you see her hand print?
Lastly but sure not least is my youngest boy who even though everyone else is up I still hadn't heard a peep from. Well had I mentioned it was a rough night? Well I had checked on him while passing by a few times during the night since he was crashed out on the love seat opposite his grandma on the couch. As I go into living room to wake him up I notice he's not on the couch and his blankets on the ground so I assumed he had scooted down to the floor as I start to walk around the couch I also note the blanket is pretty flat so there's no way he's under it. I go to pick the blanket up and spot a bit of flesh then I quickly pick it up to find only feet! Oh my now in that instant I knew he was fine because I had heard him snoring away but at the same time I hurriedly got down and checked on him just to make sure because it us quite frightening to see. Then I busted out laughing so hard my oldest even came in and he was cracking up too. We then decided to replay the scene for grandma while laying the blanket back down for her to check on him which was of course met with a flash of horror because she didn't think it was so funny. But all in all it was like I said a morning for the books. I wonder if other parents ever have odd sleeping moments from time to time like us? If not well, sleep tight!

Did I mention this was after the first full day on my own with all the kiddos while dad was gone to a training for a week? Yeah I think each kid was wanting to make sure daddy got sent a pic of their funny for the day. Well it worked. :)

When Motion Stops

Sometimes a day can stretch out longer than usual kinda like the day I had today. I was up and going super early to kiss my soldier goodbye and then me and the kids were out the door getting to enjoy some low laying fog all across the pastures as we drove. I wanted to take a picture so bad but I know I don't have the camera I'd need to be able to capture such beauty. I packed some boxes, did the dishes, laundry, and started a trash bag for stuff no longer needed. Then had lunch with my mom, sister in laws, and brother. I continued my day just moving along and going from one task to the next and now that I've got 2.5 of the kids asleep I realized how funny it is when I plopped down on the couch for a second I felt it and then when I got to lay in bed that I had been in constant motion so much throughout the day when I actually stopped I felt this feeling of floating and relaxation so strong. It's funny that it takes one second to just stop to realize that I had been going constantly all day and I must say I'm sure ready for bed today.

The Day We Couldn't Put Off Any Longer

Saddest thing ever telling my ten year old his daddy is leaving to Afghanistan for the rest of the year. He cried and then afterwards asked question after question. My three year old may not understand why but he sure got sad and since he's a daddy's boy I know it'll be the hardest on him. So yes my husbands deploying we have less than a month left with him this year before our time goes from hugs and kisses to Skype and messages. He won't be here for soccer games or Jeremiah's first year of tball or the girls big first birthday actually, He will miss all 4 kids birthdays this year including mine and his own. That makes me sad but itl be ok all I know is we've got God to help us through and be with us this year comforting us while keeping us safe and strong. Onward we go. Today we also signed a lease on our new house the place we will be staying much closer to family so I can have my support team close as possible. I'm excited to get to decorate and live in town again it will be a nice change and a good one for this year. :)

Sleeping Beauty

After a long day of playing hard with their cousins my kiddos were tired. I turned around and Jeremiah just walked over and layed down and fell asleep but he looked so cute! Then I went over to put a blanket on the girls and realized they were sleeping in the same poses! So cute another pic had to be taken. Sleeping Beauties yes I have quite a few.

A Want

So when I'm in stores I take pictures. Yep I'm the weird chick walking around the store taking random pics of the merchandise. Sometimes it's to compare prices on my handy app or maybe it's sparked an idea or some inspiration. Then there's the times like this time where I'm building a list of things I want but know I can't buy for myself just yet, like this set that's just waiting on me at Hobby Lobby. I'm way in love with damask and black and white and when I saw this my jaw dropped cause its so me! I can't wait to get it in my house and have a cheery lil flair of me about the counters and such. I wonder if other women build lil picture wish list for themselves? I don't know but I sure do!

Bottle Dry?

I spent over 30 minutes washing just bottles today. That's a lot of bottles! Yep have twins and this is a little of what it just might look like. I ran out of room on the drying rack so had to grab a towel too! I might need to just buy another rack, hadn't thought of that before. Seems like the two of everything motto is holding true. :)

Poem: Lost Smile

My smile is gone, where did it go?
I feel so low I fear it might show.
But, i can't tell you why all I want to do is cry.
I want to be happy but it seems so far away, it seems like a lost needle in the hay.
Soon il be able to tell you so you can help show me the way.
Oh how I wish that day was today.

My Big Helper

Jeremiah decided to step in and help feed his babies during the last half of supper. I didn't ask or tell him anything I guess he was just tired of hearing them fuss waiting on me.

Took 3 Years

Look what was waiting for me when I got home from work! I've waited for 3 years to have a sewing machine and today I got it! Finally!! I usually want something for a couple years before getting it or in this case until I could afford it. I wonder if anyone else still waits like I do? Probably not.

Cakes & Cuties!

For Christmas I got a new set of bake wear which I much needed. I was able to break it in finally today. Included were 2 8- inch cake pans and in celebration of my moms birthday I got to make a cake. While my mom is diabetic I opted for my sugar free chocolate cake with sugar free chocolate icing and am glad to report it came out perfect. I kept getting compliments on how moist it is once again. So yay for a great cake even when it's sugar free. My girls also had some fun at the party playing and rolling around they got their outfits from grandma so I took a picture!

A Day of Fun with my Hun

Today was a long one but a fun one still! I'm an Army wife and my hubby went from his civilian job during the week straight to his Army work during the weekend but today he had off and with the kids back to school we had a day off together and made the most of it. Got the kids taken care of and off for a day of fun n learning then nocked out a couple quick errands. After that he started driving out of town headed as he says "that way". Ended up taking a fun stroll through the mall then a couple stores followed by a movie just the two of us. Some great time together no stress just enjoying each others company.

My Super Saturday

Today was one of those days that are great and just keep getting better. It was just me and my kiddos and I flipped on this great Christian cartoon channel I found while it was just me and the girls up and then one by one as the boys woke up they came and joined us in the bedroom and I was surprised that after a while of playin and goofing around they had their attention on the tv and were enjoying the programs on even singing some worship throughout. So much better than other Saturday morning cartoon options. I was also able to do some laundry, organize my bottle drawer, and even got my files set up and started for this year! Then I gotta text and later was joined by my bestie for some girl time we made our traditional dinner and watched a great movie! Had enough extra hands i was even able to serve my husband dinner when he got home drink, refills and all! that rarely happens anymore with twins and i enjoyed getting to do that even if it is just a small gesture. Then after baths for the kiddos and just about bedtime I get a call and more family came over for a visit! I laughed till my side cramped up and was out of breath it was a great night, day, the whole shabang. Onward to tomorrow well be hitting the road to church. :)

All the things to do

Oh how the list of changes and new plans to be made this year grows everyday. I love it. There is so much new and so much change coming in my life this year to some the thought would be dreadful, but I really know even some of the hard times to come are going to be just fine. I've got some time to prepare for something's and other things will be surprises I'm sure! First up is setting up my new filing system for this year! I actually love to file and organize just finding the time to do it for myself is tough so today I bought some really cute and colorful folders to get me motivated on it this weekend even though the pile of laundry is also mounting oh and did I mention the Christmas decorations still need to be taken down or that I need to go buy some storage baskets/boxes in order to get organized? Well one thing at a time.

A sweet smile on a long day.

At home all day with my girls today they're sick especially lil Faith but I still got a smile! Hope they feel better tomorrow cause were going shopping!

A Sliver of White

So last night I found something remarkable in an hour of agony! Hasn't that happened before? After coming home to settle in for the night I was frustratingly losing my mind to say the least. Let me say not everything I post will be full of joy and splendor, that's not life. Life is messy, loud, and fun :) at least mine is. My youngest despite being fed, changed, cuddled, sang to, rocked, the whole deal was screaming and crying and ceased to stop. And I was feeling like a major failure at my mommy duties when all the sudden I saw a glimmer...like something was in her mouth and so I checked and sure enough I found a little sliver of her first pearly white had popped on through! And then a explosive feeling of relief because I knew it wasn't me and now that I knew what was wrong with my baby I could now fix it. And I did. Orajel and some ibuprofen and she felt better only woke up once during the night and I have her a little more orajel on the sore spot and she happily went right back to sleep! So yes thank you orajel you saved this moms sanity for the day which is quite a feat!

My online scrapbook

At the end of 2012 me and my husband started to talk about 2013. I'm not really a resolution maker but throughout the year I do set goals and challenges and go for them. Seeing how busy life can get and how quickly life sometimes speeds up this past year I had an idea to log daily at least one thing from that day. Maybe I have time to sit down and write out my feelings that day or maybe even a video, although I'm sure sometimes it might Just be a photo highlight or two from that day, but no matter what I should be able to make the time to somehow savor something from that day. And so my husband said like a scrapbook and I thought how perfect my own little online scrapbook and so that's what I'm going to do and when the year ends I should have a year worth of memories to look back on.
Today was the first day of the year I got to celebrate a family birthday and sing Happy Birthday in 2 languages! Also got some cute pics of my girls rolling around on the floor. Their 6 months old now and such a joy to play with.